In today's hectic world, few people have time for love. That's where the guys of the Suite 304 Grissom Pimp Shack come in. For a nominal fee, they will provide all the man you need without you having to go looking for a decent man. These eight young men have chosen to make a great sacrifice and dedicate their lives to pleasing busy college-age girls. That is true selflessness.
That's easy. It's because we're all horsemen! You've never had sex until you've had sex with a sex-starved college student wielding an inhumanly large penis. They don't call us the horsemen for nothing! You can be the loosest slut on campus and we'll make you feel like a virgin all over again. And again! And again!! And again!!!
Matt and Brad are now a bundled package! It's double the room-C pleasure!
*All homosexual customers directed to Matt. The rest of the corporation is not gay (not that there's anything wrong with that)
MATT: 
6'4" and 205 pounds of pure, kinky love. There isn't anything this boy won't try! Now includes a nipple ring!
Turn ons: Snack packs, Ryan, Jon, Ryan and Jon, spanking and walking into convenient stores naked.
Turn offs: Boy bands, women not his girlfriend.
BRAD: 
"He's so big, it scared the shit out of me!" Claims one satisfied customer. At 6'5", he's really really long. And not just height wise, either.
Turn ons: Smart girls, No Doubt and iced tea
Turn offs: Skanky girls
DAVE: 
We call him the cherry poppin' daddy. One of our best sellers, girls love his dorky sense of humor and his liking of sitting around naked.
Turn ons: Being on a leash, sitting around almost naked, gorey "chick flicks," running
Turn offs: Travelling more than 2 minutes to see a girl, actual chick flicks.
RYAN: 
Ryan's Mr. Hard to Get. No, really, if you get him, Hell will have frozen over.
Turn ons: None
Turn offs: Everything
JON: 
Jon's one of our more unusual pimps. Is he rude? Yes. Is he chauvinistic? Yes. Will he give a woman a night of hot sweaty loving that they're sure to not forget for quite some time? Yes. Need we say more? No.
Turn ons: Vag. Lots and lots of vag.
Turn offs: Militant feminists who don't like women being referred to as "bitches"
WALK-IN'S WELCOME
MATT AND DAVE BY APPOINTMENT ONLY
NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR LOST OR MISDIRECTED CALLS, OR ACCIDENTAL IMPREGNATION